dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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