what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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