This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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