I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
