she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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