i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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