Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
