careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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