Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
