u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
