Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
