I will die if light touches me.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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