i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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