We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Im part way to drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
