let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
