Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
