He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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