so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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