I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
