is wine microwaveable?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
