I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
