So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
