"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
