I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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