I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
