The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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