I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
