So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
