Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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