just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
