then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
