i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Still dying that you shit outside
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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