wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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