Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
