omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
