I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize