i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
