I want to walk on stilts...naked
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
