Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
