he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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