I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize