just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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