she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
