Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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