Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
