I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
