Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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