i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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