he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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