Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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