i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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