I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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