I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
