so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
