dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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