Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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