Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
