anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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