My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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