I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
