I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
