Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
