so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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