She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
