You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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