Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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