On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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