Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
false alarm. still invincible.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
