You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I want to make a zoo with you.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize