that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
