Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
